You are so brave.

 

When I started telling people I was moving to a new city with strangers and getting a job through a non profit doing something I had never done before; people reacted in all kinds of ways. They would insinuate I was doing it for money (nope not even close). Or they would say how crazy I am and that they were amazed. People would call me strong and brave. Once I got here it was the same except a lot of people called me brave (still some would call me stupid). People said they wish they could do that, just up and move and change their life. I always reply with why not?

I am not a saint by any means. If there was a scale of saint to sinner I don’t want to know how close to sinner I would be. The Episcopal Service Corps called me to this service because I am not perfect. I know that my personal background and imperfectness makes me unique and an integral part of the church. However, I did not come to this realization overnight. I had pushed down every negative thought about this program. People said I would miss my family too much, the money would not be enough, and the city would not become a home. While I do miss my family a ton I have managed it with phone calls and facetime. The money… well there could always be more but I am doing okay with the amount. This city is beautiful and the community has invited me in wonderfully. All of these things I now know however, one night about a month before the big move I freaked out. I was convinced this was the wrong path, that I had blindly chosen this and I was stressed. Then I thought of my family and how strong they were and how much they had my back. My mom in particular helped me come here.

My mother is one of the strongest and beautiful women I know. All throughout high school my mom’s job became a huge stressor for her. She had over 20 years experience at the hospital in a variety of jobs. Her new manager with little experience and a higher degree than my mom discounted her ideas and service instead of utilizing them. It was beyond frustrating for my mom but she had to get up everyday and go in. She did it for me and my dad. She did it to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. My mom once joked while I was filling out college applications that she would go back to school when I did. I laughed and said okay sure you do that. Never in my life did I think she would. I will never forget receiving a call from my mom that she had put in her two weeks at her job and had been accepted into college the same Fall I would be starting (different schools). She told me she hated her job and could not do it anymore she wanted to become a nurse and help people. I don’t think I have ever been so proud of someone in my life. Together we got through school, this past May we both graduated. She once told me when I get my mind focused on a goal Lord help whoever tries to get in my way.

When I am passionate about something my parents back me 100% no matter what. That gave me strength to know that I had to leave and spread my wings. Me moving to Baltimore is about a 6 hour drive away from my comfort zone. Her quitting her job and putting herself first after all the years of putting me and my dad first is amazing. I got a lot from my mom her walk, laugh, and sympathy. Some may call me brave but I think it’s genetics.

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